Cross-roads

Hello World. I haven't checked-in in a while on the blogosphere. A lot has happened since the last post! Portland was a tremendous success for my friends, Switzerland (and Belgium & the Netherlands afterwards) was definitely an eye-opening adventure certain to leave me with many memories and graduation is closer than ever. I've had a very blessed and filled month.

Yet, I feel like my life could be summed up with one word: thirst.

At Good Friday service this past week, Pastor Chan spoke of the sixth of Jesus' sayings while on the Cross (John 19:30), "It is finished." He spoke of how it was not the saying of a weak man in defeat but of a triumphant Savior who had just completed His mission on earth. With that one phrase, Jesus fulfilled the prophesies of His life, ministry, and death and brought ultimate salvation to mankind.

I took a step back to look at Jesus' fifth saying (John 19:28) where it is said: "Later, knowing that all was now completed, and so that the Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, "I am thirsty." His last request before His declaration of victory was to ask to have His thirst quenched as a means to fulfill Scripture (Psalm 69:21). But what draws me more is how it must have felt, physically.

John MacArthur's commentary in Condemned and Crucified: God's Miraculous Commentary on the Cross said: "When His torturers gave Christ the wine, was that an act of mercy? It may have been, but it only served to prolong His agony." I can't imagine the level of thirst He must have endured in order to make such a request and to still ask for liquid, knowing it would only add to the agony of His suffering. The thirst must have been unbearable.

So why the long analysis before I relate it to my state of mind right now?

It's really simple...throughout all that's happened recently, I've felt an unease that I was not able to really pinpoint. I felt like I was doing something wrong or that something was missing that I just didn't understand. It wasn't until I got home that I realized what it was. I was thirsting for more of the Lord the whole time. His presence, His teaching, His encouragement and most importantly, His reassurance that His Will is perfect for my life. Part of it was because I was away from my church family for so long. But the more significant part was that I realized I hadn't put a lot of personal time into my walk in the midst of all the busyness. It was my soul telling me that something was wrong because it had not been feed what it needed...it was a warning sign.

Now that I am home and facing several more hurdles in the months ahead, I realize that my thirst is not going away any time soon (nor should it really ever go away). It is very much up to me to meet that desire to re-energize my relationship with the Lord. To put the work and effort that I have put into my professional life back into my walk. And in light of the tremendous Gift we received that Easter long long ago, I will gladly accept that challenge.

Whew! That was a really long (and unusually serious) post. Thanks for sticking with me and checking in! Hopefully it won't be too long until the next time. :)